DEALING WITH ADDICTION!

I have been dealing with addiction my whole life.

Addicted to cigarettes.

Addicted to excess food.

Addicted to marijuana.

Addicted to meth.

Addicted to heroin.

Addicted to drama.

Addicted to escaping.

And the list can go on and on….

Fortunately I am clean and sober from all these addictions, bar one… ESCAPING!!

I am a pisces (3 times actually!), and we all know these beautiful little fishies like to transport themselves out of this world already, but on top of this, I have never liked to feel uncomfortable, don’t like to fight, don’t like bad energy, don’t like depression, don’t like, don’t like, don’t like……………….

I would rather escape these things than sit in them.

But with this addiction to escaping, I am indanger of bringing in other addictions to help me remove myself from any situations, emotions or feelings I don’t like.

It can be quite a vicious circle.

I don’t know sometimes why I want to escape, but do I really have to understand it?? I was told by a healer that I am trying to intellectualize my addiction, as in, I am searching for the why behind my need to escape, in order for me to feel safe in that I wont reach for anything to help me escape, alcohol presently being a go-to.

I had to ponder that.

What if I stopped that. Stopped searching for the reason as to why I want to escape, drop all inquiries, and just be present with the fact that I am feeling uncomfortable, right now, in my body, mind and spirit. That I sit with it and witness all 3 parts of me wanting to fly away to another dimension, and at present it feels icky sitting in it.

No searching for reasons. No justification as to why I am feeling this way. No expectations that if I find the reason, this will never happen again. Just sit in its icky, sticky, heavy hearted, miserable place and let it move through me. I for sure know that it will pass and I will get through it, as I have overcome years of hard core chemical addiction. But because “escape” isn’t necessarily a tangible entity such as drugs are, it feels like a huge challenge to treat this addiction like any other and move through the discomfort knowing at the other side, things will be so much better as i will not have responded to my addiction and found a way to escape, I have overcome my demons. But it is just the same as any addiction if I choose to heal from it.

I like it healer friend of mine! I like this approach. It takes the pressure off me finding the answers. It takes me to a place where I am living in the present moment and surrendering to being here, right now, even in the discomfort, and that means I am ALIVE, LIVING and completely HERE NOW! No escaping for me…

If you suffer from addictions, know you are never alone and there is always someone you can talk to.

Reach out if you need.

No shame. No judgments or criticism. Just a loving awareness.

Take a breath, a deep one …in…. and ouuutttttttttt

ahhhhhhhhh. You got this. I got this!!