MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!
My journey up until 2 years ago has been a challenging one.
BUT I AM A SURVIVOR!!
I’ve been raped.
I’ve been bullied.
I’ve been committed to psych wards.
I’ve had a gun pulled on me.
I’ve been beat up multiple times.
I’ve been stalked.
I’ve been harassed.
I’ve been abandoned.
I’ve been destroyed.
I’ve had punctured veins and boils from missing the vein.
I’ve used needles until the spike was bent and blunt.
I’ve tried to escape my pain with drugs
meth, heroin, xanax, vicodin…
None of it worked.
I had my first Suicide attempt when i was 14, and it has always been a troubled thought i have had to deal with for my whole life.
I had my FINAL suicide attempt at 46 years old
This didnt work either.
Time to look in the mirror.
Face my darkness.
Flip the switch.
How am I still here? How is it possible?
Again and again I have faced death, but it has never welcomed me in.
I have been gifted life again, and again, and again.
Not that I ever saw it as a gift until this last time.
I am more than lucky to be alive…and I mean that …
Lucky, fortunate, blessed, miracled….the list goes on.
I was put in a position of isolation during Covids lockdown in 2020 in a new state with no one and nothing but myself and my cats, and four walls.
A padded cell per se, call it what you will, but oh, the irony.
It was during this time that I know I was surrounded by angels, guides, ancestors and other spirits, all forcing, willing, encouraging me to get a grip, be a true survivor and live on to tell my story of survival.
To normalize the conversation around mental health awareness.
Be a loud and proud voice as a true survivor of some of the worst things that can happen to any human being.
I was given a message to help people like myself.
The everyday, happy go-lucky person too.
I live every day with a balance of fear and enlightenment.
Can I do this??
Can I uphold my purpose and be true to my path.
To help. To heal.
My journey is young. I am healed for only 2.5 years, whereas my journey to that healing was 35 years.
It’s going to take a lot more personal healing work to do, to work my gift of life, and live it to its highest potential.
I wake everyday and try to be the best person I can. This is not easy. Always remembering that “hurt people, hurt people”, and I try to actively work against falling into that generalization.
I will continue to talk honestly about my journey to ease any stigma behind mental health.
I am a true survivor, smiling and living each day filled with gratitude for the gift of still being here.
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS
Love and light