This was me in Oct 2019, about 2 weeks before i attempted suicide. Death was seeking me. My life had come to such a devastating and depressing abyss and I had lost all hope!!

But, as you can see from my other picture, RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE, mentally , physically and spiritually!!!

I thought all was lost and I neither deserved to be alive, nor wanted to be alive. I had been abused, stalked, raped and terrorized leading up to my demise, and this reality, my reality, seemed to be the only thing that existed. I was stuck in a loop of horrific events and traumatic interactions.

I was alone and afraid when i attempted suicide, but at this stage, my life and my drug addiction had become so fierce, anything was better than being alive.

Living daily in darkness where I was always terrified of the stalkers finding me and killing me…I mean they said they would, why shouldn’t I believe them, they had done everything else to bring me to my death. It was their pleasure and delight to see me wither away and hopefully kill me off.

Attempting to take my life was bliss to the hell I was living in now. On top of the stalking, I was shooting meth and heroin up to 17 times a day at that time. My life was coming to an end quickly anyway. There seemed no way out.

I Attempted, and miraculously, I mean a serious miracle, I came back from the dead.

A gift. A wake up call. A divine message sent to me that I had to heal, rise up, get a grip and become a healer for others struggling too.

I don’t really know how I saved myself: strength, determination and an acknowledgement that I should be dead, but I wasn’t, and that obviously I was meant to stay and do something in this 3D world!

We were all in early isolation at that time of the Covid saga, so I was forced to get sober. I slowly found my way back to life. I first had to detox from my last hard core 8 year binge of drugs. I did this alone. Not something I would recommend, but we were in isolation, and i wasn’t able to go to rehab. But I did it. I got clean and have been now for almost 3 years.

What was profound i remember was that I was given a message from my Guides and angels to wake people up about suicide awareness, so as to prevent it. To be 100% authentic and open and talk about my trauma, openly and honestly, so as to maybe encourage others who are struggling to find their own voice and ask for help, so they don’t find themselves overdosing or shooting themselves in their head, trying to escape their pain!

I have become a proud ambassador for suicide prevention and mental health. I am a LIVING example of recovery. I am a survivor. I am a recovered drug addict. I am a warrior.

I have practiced every day since “coming back to life”, literally, to become my best self, I practice coming from a place of love and compassion for all, especially those people struggling, and those with heavy hearts, and those with addictions. Pretty much everyone….

I am not your average recovered addict. I did it alone and continue to, but it is possible. If you can find your spirit guides, angels, or God, whoever you look up to, and ask them for help and guidance, they will help, they are waiting for you to reach out. And then go within and befriend yourself, love yourself and know you are worthy, we all are, every single one of us, to have a happy healthy and living a love filled life.

I am here for you. I see you and I believe in you. If you need to reach out, do. It could be your first step to a whole new life! I have experience and compassion and always an open understanding.

We are all magical beings, and deserve the best life we can give ourselves. Believe.

Love and light.

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